Ahh! Memories

"Sure, everything sounds bad if you remember it."

This quote comes from Homer after Marge recounts his experience at the previous year's Chili Cook-Off where Homer gets drunk and gets into the cotton candy machine. This is a great quote from season 8's Spanish titled episode. I don't speak Spanish so I can't really remember it. Rest assured, I will quote more from this episode later. It's one of my favorites.

The other day, my family and I were playing a game known as the List. For those of you who don't recognize this VH1's short lived series, many celebrities would gather and talk about what they thought was the best whatever. The best rock album, the best pop singer, etc. and voted on it to determine which really was the best. As much as we loved it, the show didn't last long, but since then, we have played it at parties and such. Well, we were bored one night (a common occurance in our house) and decided to play. We played twice: The best song-winner "Dream On" by Aerosmith and favorite movie-winner Armageddon.

Then we thought about another round: Favorite embarassing moments from our family. Soon a memory avalanche began: "Remember that time that Andrew plunged his own head?" "Or that time Andrew went to the bank to cash a check and asked for cash?" "Or when he was dancing in front of the whole stake with his buddies?" Oh, don't worry, it extended to everyone. "How about when Maddie couldn't see the Hoover Dam because she thought it was made of wood?" "Or the the time she said 'mazel tov' to the bishop?" "Or the time Dad slipped and used his embarassing nickname for Andrew's girlfriend right in front of her?" "How about the time we went to Huntsville to go on a winter snow ride for Mom but it turned out to be a cow pasture?" There were plenty more. I don't dare reveal any more.

There we sat, reveling in each other's misery and shame. Laughing it up at one or more people. I realized some very important things: First, I'm an idiot. Second, reliving the past is usually a blood sport with our family. Third, as much as these moments made me feel like a fool, they actually bound us closer as a family. I'm a firm believer that if you can't laugh at yourself, you can't laugh at anyone. And we experienced these as a family (I had plenty more that were with other people but they don't know about them), so we could laugh at each other without hard feelings. While I usually cringe whenever I hear my family say, "Remember the time..." I know that we're getting ready for some family bonding.

Everything does sound bad if you remember it, but at least there are some good things about it as well. And by the way, it was a clean plunger that I used, so no getting grossed out.

What Started It All

"Cloud goes up, cloud goes down."

We have our friend Homer to thank for this one. After a heart attack, he is in the hospital reclining and sitting up his bed, saying "bed goes up, bed goes down." Bart and Lisa his children ask their Sunday School teacher what heaven is like and they imagine their father on a cloud repeating this to himself. From the episode "Homer's Triple Bypass," a great episode from the early years. Check it out.

This quote has a story behind it from our family. When I was younger, I quoted the Simpsons so much, my whole family got sick of it and wanted to mess with my head. So they began to throw topics at me to tie a Simpsons' quote into. And I mean ANYTHING. Mormon missionaries, tigers, St. Louis, bread, anything. And the best part was, I got them all. I even had a quote for Mongolia, a thousand bonus points to who can tell me that first.

Things took a turn for the serious when they threw a curveball at me: Your dad dying. I was almost stumped and it looked for a time that they finally got me. That's when I remembered the quote above and solidified my position as King. Victory is sweet. From that moment on, I never looked back. In fact, when discussing our family's super powers (that will be covered later), mine was mentioned that I can quote the perfect Simpsons quote at the perfect time. Wow, talk about a lame super power. Move over Rogue, Qaptain Quote now has the most useless super power.

Not too long later, our family went through several death-related tragedies. I am not the kind of guy who hides his emotions well, in fact no matter how many times I see Simon Birch, the sight of that dying kid still reduces me to puddles at the bottom of Niagra Falls. I will be the first to admit that these experiences were taxing on someone who has the emotional equivalent of warm Jell-o like yours truly. Our faith was the driving force that allowed us to get through those tough times still as a family and with our heads on straight. And this in no way detracts from the irreplaceable role faith played in this process, but if I'm not laughing, usually I'm depressed. So it was this image of Homer Simpson on a cloud like it was a hospital reclining bed with the words "cloud goes up, cloud goes down" that kept a smile on my face.

Say what you will about the Simpsons, but they can certainly help to keep things in perspective for you. And I promise that you can find something to brighten your day or at least give you a chuckle on those black days. After all, there's been 20 seasons for crying out loud.

P.S. Feel free to send me your topics trying to stump me. I haven't been challenged since that day. Bring it on.

Oh No, Another Blog

"Now you've got a million people voicing their worthless opinions."

For those of you that don't know me (or wish they knew more), there is something important you must know before reading this blog. I am a Simpsons fan. More than a fan, less of a fanatic. Maybe just a fanat. In any case, this blog will feature a Simpsons quote with a little slice of my life (as if you wanted to know). The quote up top is a gem from Homer, the Simpsons' father to his daughter Lisa after she fought the media empire in her town. I share this with you because there is yet one more blog that no one will read to clog up the internet. Following the example of my dad (It's Nothing to Laugh At) and older sister (Welcome to Mommybrain and obviously the most talented one in our family), I have decided to share a quick slice of life with a sarcastic spin on life (but what's new?).

So thank you now for going along with this. I hope to bring a little joy into your lives and mine by voicing my worthless opinions set to Simpsons quotes. Hope you enjoy!