There's Nothin' on Earth Like a Genuine, Bona Fide, Electrified, Six-Car Simpsons Blog!

The blog that attempts to justify my idiosyncrasies

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Vocabulary Lesson

"My name is the return address, you senseless dunderpate!"

This quote comes from Mr. Burns as he gets mad at Homer for bringing Burns a letter which he sent. This comes from the episode "Who Shot Mr. Burns? Pt. 1" from the sixth season. This is a great episode, one that I remember quite fondly because the whole summer was filled with speculation on who could have shot him, only to find out that it was Maggie, which I correctly guessed. Go me.

Anyway, I have always thought Mr. Burns is a great character on the show due to his miserly character and contempt for human life while living with so many very human inhabitants of Springfield. What I love about him the most, however, is his archaic and old-timey vocabulary, as evidenced by the quote above. When's the last time you were called a dunderpate?

Even the way he answers the phone, "ahoy, hoy," is a reference to how Alexander Graham Bell first thought people should answer the phone, like the nautical term "ahoy." In this episode alone, Burns calls Homer a "lollygagger," a "blubberpot," a "baffleweed," a "lummox," a "puddinghead," a "drizzlepuss," and a "fumblefist." When was the last time you heard those? That's right, when you read them just now.

Further, when other people are baffled by his use of ancient dialogue, he assumes the others are out of touch. For instance, he travels to the post office and says, "I need to send this missive to the Prussian Consulate in Siam, post-haste! Am I too late for the 4:30 auto-gyro?" to which the Squeaky-Voiced Teen replies that he needs to consult the manual. Not finding any of these, he says that the manual must be out of date and Burns tells him angrily to keep looking. Ha, priceless.

There are so many of these old sayings that sound hilarious to me. "Hear that? The percolations are imminent. No need to come in. Uh, cease your ingress!" "You there! Fill it up with petroleum distillate and re-vulcanize my tires, post-haste!" "Beep Beep! I am a motorist!" "I thought I would chauffeur myself this evening...I'm sure the manual will indicate which lever is the velocitator and which the deceleratrix, hmm?" He tries to field a baseball team with players that have retired or, in the case of his right-fielder, been dead for 130 years. And he gives that baseball team a nerve tonic that has been known in rare cases to cause gigantism.

All of these would make perfect additions to anyone's vocublary, and they already have to mine. Answer the phone by saying "Ahoy hoy." Call someone a dunderpate. Mock the King of Siam. Say Bosh! or Flimshaw! when you are frustrated. You won't be disappointed.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Find Your Own Bandwagon!

"They're losers."..."Now we're in the championship game!" "Championship? Hmm...Woo! 'Topes Rule!"

This quote comes from the episode "Wild Barts Can't be Broken" after Homer walks in to Moe's to find the local loser baseball team the Isotopes in the championship game where he athletically jumps on the bandwagon.

The website is filled with humorous columns mainly dealing with sports and popular culture. They usually have a feature called the YouTube Hall of Fame. This week, guess what it was? The best moments from the Simpsons. This leads me to ask myself in my best Church Lady voice, Well, I wonder where they could have gotten that idea? They said it was from the 500th episode that aired last Sunday, but I know better. It sounds suspiciously like my last four blog posts. This can mean one and only one thing. This website has jumped on my bandwagon! Do you know what this means? I'll finally be more popular in the United States than Slovenia! Maybe I can be as popular as fellow bandwagon-inspiring figures as Tim Tebow or Jeremy Lin! In this day and age of flash-in-the-pan heroes and instant celebrities, this is my ticket to a bunch of overused and easy jokes on Letterman, The Soup, and Saturday Night Live!

All silliness aside, I love every single moment they talk about. Especially the Sideshow Bob stepping on the rakes. I would like to add my opinion of the picture that is at the top of the page and in the same episode where Homer becomes Popeye and rides a donkey to save Marge at the demolition derby. The picture above makes me laugh uncontrollably every time I see it. Honestly, it kills me.

Remember, those of you who have been with me from the beginning, you can brag about it on Internet forums and you're not just jumping on my quick-moving bandwagon.

Time and a Half

"Ugh, I'm bad at this."

This quote comes from Groundskeeper Willie in the Treehouse of Horror V episode from the sixth season. This is the third time he's come to rescue the Simpsons, only to be hacked in the back with an axe. For the third time.

So, yes, I will say that I'm bad at this whole writing of the blog thing, even though I just graduated and only have a part-time job at the moment so I have nothing else to do but job hunt, write, and watch movies. I will say as an excuse that my wife got me some really awesome Christmas presents that I have been enjoying thoroughly for the past two months and I have begun to write something a little longer than blog posts to fulfill my desire to reach out creatively. That being said, however, I will try to do better.

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Lists...Everyone Loves Lists...Pt. 5 The List Strikes Back

And now, before the end of 2011, the end of the List.

5. "Mother Simpson"-Season 7
Guest star-Glenn Close as Mother Simpson, Harry Morgan as Bill Gannon
Memorable quotes: Marge: Mother Simpson, we'd like to ask you a few questions about your past. Mother Simpson: Can't reminisce. Sleeping. (starts snoring)
Homer: Damn you, Walt Whitman! I hate you, Walt freakin' Whitman! Leaves of grass, my ass!
Lisa: (turning on the dryer) So no one will be able to hear us... Bart: What!? Lisa: (turning off the dryer) All right, we don't need the dryer! Bart: What!?
Made me cry: Every time
Notes: This episode has a lot of great allusions to previous episodes, lots of heart, and we get to see a very human side to Homer. Love it

4. "Bart vs. Australia"-Season 6
Guest Star-Phil Hartman as Evan Connover
Memorable quotes: Conover: Mr. Simpson, shush! Disparaging the boot is a bootable offense! It's one of their proudest traditions! [He points it out using the Australian Flag, which inaccurately shows a boot kicking the buttocks]
Homer: When will you Australians learn? In America, we stopped using corporal punishment, and things have never been better. The streets are safe. Old people strut confidently in the darkest alleys. And the weak and nerdy are admired for their computer-programming abilities. So, like us, let your children run wild and free! 'Cos as the old saying goes, "let your children run wild and free".
Bart: Mom, Dad, just so you don't hear any wild rumors, I'm being indicted for fraud in Australia. Homer: That's no reason to block the TV.
Bruno: Ooh! Ah, that's it. I'm going to report this to me member of Parliament. [yells out window] Hey, Gus! I got something to report to you. [Gus tends his swine]
Gus: That's a bloody outrage, it is! I want to take this all the way to the Prime Minister. [they go down to a lake] Hey! Mr. Prime Minister! Andy! Andy: [floating naked on an inner tube with a beer] Eh, mates! What's the good word?
Lisa: [weepy] Thank you, Bart. I promise I won't make fun of you later for this.
Homer: [sniffs] Show 'em what American butts are made of, Son.
Made me cry: No
Notes: Too many great quotes to really narrow them down but here are some of my favorites.

3. "Lisa's Substitute"-Season 2
Guest Star-Sam Etic (Dustin Hoffman) as Mr. Bergstrom
Memorable quotes: Miss Hoover: "You see, class, my Lyme Disease turned out to be" (Spells on blackboard) "psychosomatic." Ralph: "Does that mean you're crazy?" Janey: "No, that means she was faking it." Miss Hoover: "No, actually, it was a little of both."
Homer: "Bart, does the class president get paid?" Bart: "No." Homer: "Does he have to do extra work?" Bart: "Yes." Homer: "And is this Martin Prince going to get to do anything neat, like throw out the first ball at the World Series?"
Bart: "Hell no!" Homer: "So let the baby have his bottle! That is what I always tell myself." Bart: "Thanks, Dad."
Made me cry: Yes
Notes: This one has some good quotes, but the reason I like this one is mostly because it is so sweet and we get to see some actual character growth from all the Simpsons.

2. "Homer's Phobia"-Season 8
Guest star-John Waters as John
Memorable quotes-Marge: Homer, didn't John seem a little "festive" to you? Homer: Couldn't agree more, happy as a clam. Marge: He prefers the company of men! Homer: Who doesn't? Marge: Homer, listen carefully. John is a Ho - mo... Homer: Right. Marge: ...Sexual. Homer: AAAAHHH!
Marge: I'm very sorry you feel that way, because John invited us out on a drive today, and we're going. Homer: Whoa! Not me. And not because John's gay, but because he's a sneak. He should have the good taste to mince around and let everyone know that he's... that way. Marge: What on Earth are you talking about? Homer: You know me, Marge. I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals FA-LAMING
Homer: You! I should have known. John: Good morning, sunshine. Marge: Homer, John brought us cactus candy. Homer: Look, John, you seem like a perfectly nice guy and all. Just stay the hell away from my family! John: Well, now you don't get any candy. No that's cruel. Just take a teensy piece.
Homer: Oh my god! What's happening now? Rosco: We work hard, we play hard.
Made me cry: No.
Notes: Once again, too many good quotes to narrow down but certainly one of my most favorite episodes. That's why it's number 2.

1. "Lisa on Ice"-Season 6
Guest star-none
Memorable quotes-Skinner: No, no, Ralph. This means you're failing English. Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible!
Bart: Lisa, certain difference, rivalries if you will, have come up between us. At first I thought we could talk it over like civilized people, but instead...I just ripped the head off Mr. Honeybunny! Lisa: Bart that was your cherished childhood toy. Bart: Aaah! Mr. Honeybunny!
Mrs. Krabappel: Who can tell me the capital of Spain? Bart Simpson. The square root of 36? Bart Simpson. Who freed the slaves? Bart Simpson. Bart Simpson. Bart Simpson. Bart Simpson, will you stop raising your hand? You haven't gotten one right answer all day.
Homer: Hey! Apu just called. This Friday, Lisa's team is playing Bart's team. You're in direct competition. And don't go easy on each other just because you're brother and sister. I want to see you both fighting for your parents' love! (Flicks light on and off.) Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Announcer: And now, to honor America, here's Krusty the Klown. Krusty: [singing] Oh say, can you see..La la la, da da light, what so proudly we... ya la la yah...oh... I shouldn't have turned down those cue cards.
Made me cry: Yes
Notes: I love hockey. I love the Simpsons. I love this episode. Period.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Lists...Everyone Loves Lists...Pt. 4 List Free or Die Hard

Our countdown continues with numbers 10-6

10. "El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer"-Season 8
Guest Star: Johnny Cash as Homer's Spirit Guide
Memorable quotes: Homer: "Maybe we do have a--" Marge: "Profound mystical understanding?" Homer: "We do! Oh, Marge! We're number one! We're number one! In your face, space coyote!" Marge: "Space coyote?"
Homer: "Oh, well, of course, everything looks bad if you remember it."
Homer: "Look, just give me some inner peace, or I'll mop the floor with ya!"
(Homer's silhouette can be seen in the lighthouse's spotlight) Bart: "Hey, look! Is that dad?" Lisa: "Either that or Batman's really let himself go."
Made me cry: No.
Notes: I've already blogged about a quote or two from this episode, so it seems fitting that it cracks my top ten. It starts out pretty normal, then gets really strange once Homer has the Guatemalan insanity peppers, but then levels out to a very sweet ending, including a dance sequence to the song about hot pants. Yeah, it's a strange one, but I like it in a way that even I have trouble understanding.

9. "Brother from the Same Planet"-Season 4
Guest Star: Phil Hartman as Tom
Memorable quotes: Administrator: "And what are your reasons for wanting a little brother?" Homer's Brain: "Don't say revenge! Don't say revenge!" Homer: "Uh, revenge?
Homer's Brain: That's it, I'm gettin' outta here." (The sound of footsteps and a door slam.)
(a homeless man sleeps in a dumpster) Homer: "Hehehe, Just like Oscar the grouch."
Homer: "For your information, I'm his father." Tom: "You mean the drunken gambler?" Homer: "Yes and who might you be?"
Ned: "Hey Homie, I can see your doodle." Homer: "Shut up, Flanders."
Made me cry: No.
Notes: Originally, this episode was supposed to feature Tom Cruise as the voice of Tom the Bigger Brother. However, at the last minute, for reasons that were unclear to the producers, Tom backed out and they had to use Phil Hartman. Now that they say the character was designed for Tom Cruise, I can see it. They created this character that suited his style in the 90s. Now they would probably just create a really short guy that jumps on couches.

8. "Hurricane Neddy"-Season 8
Guest star: Jon Lovitz as Jay Sherman
Memorable quotes: Homer: "I engaged in intercourse with your spouse or significant other. (to Dr. Foster) Now that's psychiatry! Eh? Eh?" Ned: "Ho ho ho, very funny wise guy." Homer: "Oh, that's it; you just can't insult this guy. You call him a moron and he just sits there grinning moronally." Ned: (to Dr. Foster) "Hi, neighbor!"
Ned: (to Lenny) "And as for you, I don't know you, but I'm sure you're a jerk!" Lenny: "Hey, I've only been here a few minutes! What's going on?"
Asylum Receptionist: "Would you like to be shown to your room or dragged away kicking and screaming?" Ned: "Ooh, kicking and screaming, please."
Homer: "Hope you like it, neighbor. We didn't have the best tools or all the know-how, but we did have a wheel-barrel full of love!" Apu: "And a cement-mixer full of hope, and some cement."
Made me cry: No
Notes: This episode is great because we finally see some depth to Flanders' personality. We were introduced to Ned's parents in the episode "The PTA Disbands!" and we discovered that they were a bunch of beatniks. Another one of my favorite lines from this one is when Ned's mom tells Dr. Foster, "You gotta help us, Doc. We've tried nothin', and we're all outta ideas." It's also nice to see Flanders as a real human being, instead of the super-neighbor he had been in most of the previous episodes. This was one of the favorite episodes of another Simpsons fanat that I met while living in Mongolia.

7. "Much Apu About Nothing"-Season 7
Guest star: Joe Mantegna as Fat Tony
Memorable quotes: Bodyguard: "Sir, there's an angry mob here to see you." Mayor Quimby: "Does it have an appointment?" Bodyguard: "Yes, it does." Principal Skinner: "I phoned ahead!"
Crowd: "Down with taxes! Down with taxes!" Mayor Quimby: "Are these morons getting dumber or just louder?" Aide: "Dumber, sir. They won't give up the bear patrol, but they won't pay the tax for it either."
Homer: "Well, there's not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a charm." Lisa: "That's specious reasoning, Dad." Homer: "Thank you, sweetie." Lisa: "Dad, by your reasoning, I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away." Homer: "Uh-huh, and how does it work?" Lisa: "It doesn't work. It's just a stupid rock." Homer: "I see." Lisa: "But you don't see any tigers around, do you?" Homer: "Lisa, I'd like to buy your rock."
Apu: "Oh, no! I fell asleep! I've forgotten everything Mr. Simpson has taught me!" Lisa: "Perfect. Let's go!"
Made me cry: No.
Notes: I love this episode from beginning to end. The bear who has come down from the hills "in search of food or possibly employment," the community's completely absurd reaction, the over-reaction by the government, another absurd reaction by the public leads to a knee-jerk decision to deport illegal immigrants I think about sums up the dynamics of government sometimes. There are small things that happen causing a huge reaction by the government which enrages the public, and so on. It's great, another triumph.

6. "Deep Space Homer"-Season 5
Guest Star: Buzz Aldrin and James Taylor as themselves.
Memorable quotes: Homer: "You're right, Marge. Just like the time I could have met Mr. T at the mall. The entire day I kept saying, 'I'll go a little later. I'll go a little later.' And then when I got there, they told me he'd just left. And when I asked the mall guy if he would ever come back again, (sniffs) he said he didn't know. Well, I'm never going to let something like that happen again! I'm going into space right now!"
Homer: "The only danger is if they send us to that terrible Planet of the Apes. Wait a minute... Statue of Liberty... that was our planet! You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to Hell! (sobs)"
James Taylor: (singing) "Sweet dreams and flying machines, in pieces on the ground. Oops. Uh, sweet dreams and flying machines, flying safely through the air."
NASA Man: "Gentlemen, you've both worked very hard, and in a way you're both winners. But in another, more accurate way, Barney is the winner."
Made me cry: Maybe when Homer is talking about when he could have seen Mr. T at the mall.
Notes: This one is great. I wish there were more than five numbers between one and five because I think this one should have been in it. We see Homer's rage finally come in handy twice, as his angry call to NASA puts him in the running to go to space and his rage at trying to beat up Race Banyon closes the door, allowing them to make it back to earth safely. We also see Homer getting upstaged by an inanimate carbon rod, even when he was a hero. He may have just pulled a "Homer," but he still deserved some credit.

Come back soon for the exciting conclusion!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Lists...Everyone Loves Lists...Pt. 3 Revenge of the List

Sorry it's been almost a month since my last post and I know all of you were just DYING to read my next five favorite episodes, so I'm sorry but this last month has been a very busy one for me as I was writing my capstone paper in an effort to graduate. So I think you'll forgive me. And now, without further "Apu"...

15. "Homer the Great"-Season 6
Guest Star: Patrick Stewart as Number 1
Memorable Quotes: Homer: "Ohh, why won't those stupid idiots let me in their crappy club for jerks?"
Bart: "What do they do there?" Homer: "What don't they do? They do so many things, they never stop. Oh, the things they do there, my stars!" Lisa: "You don't know what they do, do you, Dad?" Homer: "Not as such, no."
Marge: "I don't want you stalking anyone tonight." Homer: "Oh, okay, have it your own way, Marge. I'll be back in a minute. I'm... going outside to... stalk Lenny and Carl. D'oh!"
Homer: "I always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is. And it's me." Marge: "You're not a god, Homer." Lisa: "Remember Dad, all glory is fleeting." Homer: "So?" Lisa: "Beware the Ides of March." Homer: "No." Lisa: "Dad I know you think you're happy now, but it's not gonna last forever!" Homer: "Everything lasts forever." Lisa: "Don't you see, getting what you want all the time will ultimately leave you unfulfilled and joyless." Homer: "Remove the girl!" Lisa: "Dad you're not with your Stonecutters now. There are no lackies to carry out your every--" (Bart appears, puts his hand over her mouth, salutes Homer, and then drags her away)
Made me cry: No
Notes: Love the song "We Do," because it since the club is supposed to be a parody of the Freemasons, this song illustrates inexplicable things in our society that happen that some people attribute to some crazy conspiracy theory like the Freemasons making it happen. You know, crazy things like keeping the Martians under wraps and making Steve Guttenberg a star, stuff like that. I think my favorite line from this one is when Homer says, "I always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is. And it's me." Such a classic Homer line because it's so disjointed from reality and narcissistic, but eventually Homer comes back down to Earth. And let's face it, we all know someone who wouldn't surprise us if he said he thought he was God.

14. "Lemon of Troy"-Season 6
Guest star: None
Memorable quotes: Bart: "That lemon tree is a part of our town. And as kids, the backbone of our economy. We'll get it back, or choke their rivers with our dead!"
Marge: "Where are you going, Bart?" Bart: "Mom, you won't believe this, but something you said the other day really got through to me. And now, I'm going to teach some kid a lesson." (Bart leaves the house) Marge: "I choose to take that literally." Bart: (yelling from outside) "Death to Shelbyville!" Homer: (raising his beer) "Yes, Bart's a tutor now. Tute on, son. Tute on!"
Bart: "Ok, here's the plan: Nelson's tough guy, Martin's smart guy, and Todd is the quiet religious guy that ends up going crazy."
Bart: "Keep your voices down, men. We didn't come all this way to get found out." Homer: "Found 'em! You kids are in big trouble! Running away from home like this." Bart: "But they stole our lemon tree!" Homer: "I don't care what excuse you've got. Nothing's gonna stop me in the middle of this speech. You're gonna-- Lemon tree!?"
Made me cry: No
Notes: I love the references to the Trojan War in this episode, from the title to Homer commenting as they leave the motorhome they used to sneak into the impound lot saying, "No one in history has EVER done anything this clever." It's also interesting to see Bart be a part of something constructive, even if that something constructive takes place at the detriment of others. The parallels to Springfield that lie in Shelbyville are also great, like a Speed-E-Mart, Joe's, and the female Groundskeeper Willie.

13. "Brother from Another Series"-Season 8
Guest Star: Kelsey Grammar as Sideshow Bob, David Hyde Pierce as Cecil Terwilliger
Memorable quotes: Marge: "Oh, you have nothing to worry about, honey." Homer: "Your mother's right, Bart. Sure, you're the one who ruined all of Sideshow Bob's criminal schemes--" Marge: "We're very proud of you, by the way." Homer: "--and sure, he's probably so insane with rage that he'd butcher you horribly if he could." Marge: "But, he's safely locked away." Homer: "In a medium-security prison." Marge: "For life!" Homer: "Unless he gets out somehow." Marge: "Which is impossible." Homer: "Or so you'd think! Except he's done it so many times before."
Sideshow Bob: "I'm telling you Cecil, I can't take much more of this! Rustic workmen who've turned the saniJohn into a smokehouse! Coveralls that don't quite cover all! And a psychotic little boy who won't stop hounding me!"
Sideshow Bob: "Oh, come now! You wanted to be Krusty's sidekick since you were five! What about the buffoon lessons? The four years at Clown College?" Cecil: "I'll thank you not to refer to Princeton that way."
Lisa: "But everyone will know you did this!" Cecil: "Perhaps. Or perhaps they'll blame the master criminal, you know, the one with the grudge against Springfield?" Sideshow Bob: "Now I know Cousin Merle has had his troubles with the law, but he's hardly a master crim--Oh. You were referring to me." Cecil: "Yes, I'm framing you. And I'm doing a really excellent job at it."..."By the way, I'm planning to blow up the dam with you inside." Sideshow Bob: "Well, obviously."
Made me cry: No
Notes: Any "Top __" list of the Simpsons that omits an episode with Sideshow Bob is lying to you and itself. It's hard to ignore the great episodes and lines that accompany Kelsey Grammar's character, and his voice is divine. I had a hard time deciding between this episode and "Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming," which is another great one, but I decided on this one because of the Frasier references, and because in this episode, Bob is shown to have reformed but because of the system, is not trusted to have reformed. I used to watch Frasier as a kid and didn't understand a lot of it when they talked really fast about wines and such, so this episode seems a little like an inside joke between me and the show.

12. "Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily"-Season 7
Guest Star: None
Memorable quotes: Reverend Lovejoy: "Ned, have you thought about one of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same."
Homer: "What advantages does this motor car have over say, a train, which I could also afford." Car Salesman: "Well, you'll notice how the heated gas pedal warms your feet, and the- (Homer drives off, comes back) -massages your buttocks. Well Count Homer, shall we discuss the-" Homer: "No we shant. Yoink!" (grabs tickets from man's pocket and runs)
Marge: "It's so quiet here without the kids." Homer: "What I wouldn't give to here Lisa play another one of her jazzy tunes. (speaks into saxophone) Saxa-ma-phone, saxa-ma-phone."
Cletus: "Pa, I done cut myself on the screen door again." Homer: "Why you cotton-pickin'! (Chokes Cletus) No, I gotta pass this class for my kids. Son, let's stop all the fussin' and feudin'." Cletus: "I love you, Pa!" Homer: "I love you, Cletus!"
Made me cry: Yes, and still does
Notes: This episode gives us a look into the dynamics that are in the Flanders' home and let's us see what happens to Homer and Marge without the kids. Homer often wonders what it would be like without children, forgets how many he has, or is one of the worst fathers ever, but this episode shows just how far Homer is willing to go to save his family. And yes, this episode makes me cry for realsies. I am bothered that Flanders goes to baptize the Simpsons so quickly, because I have known people that adopt or foster children and changing their religion or anything like that is a very long, drawn out process, so I'm a little bothered with how cavalier Flanders is, but then I remind myself it's just a show, I should really just relax.

11. "You Only Move Twice"-Season 8
Guest star: Albert Brooks as Hank Scorpio
Memorable quotes: Scorpio: "There's the Hammock Hut. That's on Third. There's Hammocks 'R' Us. That's on Third, too. You got Put Your Butt There. That's on Third. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. Matter of fact they're all in the same complex. It's the Hammock Complex, down on Third." Homer: "Oh, the Hammock District?"
P.A.: T minus 14 seconds. Scorpio: "If you need anything, you call me." Homer: "All right. What's the number?" Hank: "I've never had to call my own company. Someone will tell you upstairs. But, Homer, on your way out, if you wanna kill somebody, it would help a lot."
Marge: "Mr. Scorpio, this house is almost too good for us. I keep expecting to get the bum's rush." Scorpio: "We don't have bums in our town, Marge, and if we did they wouldn't rush. They'd be allowed to go at their own pace."
Homer: "I can't buy that. Only management guys with big salaries like me can afford that--guys like me! I'm a guy like me!"
Made me cry: No
Notes: This episode shows what would happen to the Simpsons far from the backdrop of their familiar surroundings and supporting cast. I love the Character that Homer winds up working for: A Bond-villain with big plans, who treats his employees with respect. Finally, when Homer is good at his job and gets respect from his employer, it turns out his family wants to return home and he works for a supervillain. I always love when Albert Brooks is on the show, but Hank Scorpio may be my favorite character of his. Bart being in the remedial class with the Canadian is one of the most quoted things in my family, and seeing the dynamic of Bart in a school that actually cares about its students is great.

Coming Soon: Epic parts four and five of the epic Top 27 list coming up a certain movie franchise I know.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Lists...Everyone Loves Lists...Pt. 2-List Harder

I'll forgo the quote and stuff, as this series of posts is just that, a series. And so we jump right into number 20.

20. "The Last Exit to Springfield"-Season 4
Guest Star: Dr. Joyce Brothers as herself.
Memorable quotes: Homer: "Guys are always patting my bald head for luck, pinching my belly to hear my girlish laugh." Marge: "Hmm, that doesn't sound like they like you at all." Homer: "You know, I think you're right. First thing tomorrow morning, I'm gonna punch Lenny in the back of the head." (the next morning Homer punches Lenny)
Dr. Wolfe: "How often do you brush, Ralph?" Ralph: "Three times a day, sir." Dr. Wolfe: "Why must you turn my office into a house of lies?" (Followed by the Big Book of British Smiles)
Kent: "Homer, organized labor has been called a lumbering dinosaur." Homer: "AAAAHH!" Kent: "Um, my director is asking me not to talk to you anymore." Homer: "Woohoo!"
Message: Eh, I'm not really sure. Dumb luck conquers all? I do like Homer's Stooge dance at the end of the episode when he has to step down as union president
Made me cry: A little, but only because dentists kinda freak me out.
Notes: I found out that Anthony Hopkins was originally contacted to play the dentist, Dr. Wolfe. Now I try to imagine his voice over the dentist's, and it makes me happy. Entertainment Weekly said that this was the best episode ever. I think they just said that because there are so many movie spoofs in this one, like the Godfather and Batman. So I guess I felt like I needed to include it in this list. Nah, it's a good episode.

19. "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"-Season 5
Guest Star: If you count Phil Hartman as Lionel Hutz
Memorable quotes: Homer: "(thinking) I know you can read my thoughts, boy. (singing) Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow."
Homer: "Jump Willy! Jump! Jump with all your might! (cries)" (On TV) Woman: "Oh, no. Willy didn't make it! And he's crushed our boy!" Man: "Ugh, what a mess." Homer: "Ooh, I don't like this new director's cut!"
Bart: (about Principal Skinner) "He is like some sort of ... non ... giving up ... school guy!"
Message: Hotels expect you to steal a few things, if you skip school, you may wind up being the only witness to a crime, and Heaven help you if your principal chases you down as you skip school.
Made me cry: No
Notes: I originally made my top 25 list, but I had omitted this one. Then one night I watched it and realized that I needed to include it. I also like how Bart spells "Lincoln" in his vision as "L-I-N-C-O-N." Also, this episode shows even more how the Quimby family is like the Kennedys, which is great.

18. "Homer the Vigilante"-Season 5
Guest Star: Sam Neill as Molloy
Memorable quotes: Homer: "Lisa, never, ever stop in the middle of a hoedown!"
Ned: "Hi-dilly-ho, neighborinos!" Homer: "Can't talk, robbed, go Hell."
Kent Brockman: "Well, what do you say to the accusation that your group has been causing more crimes than it's been committing?" Homer: "Oh Kent, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes." Kent Brockman: (pause) "Mmm, touche."
Message: Old people are not worthless. I love how Homer is so well-intentioned when he goes to get Lisa's saxophone back, and how easily he is distracted in his goal. However, true to his character, he does eventually get it back.
Made me cry: No
Notes: In one of my favorite spoofs of the series, the end few minutes is like the movie "It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World," and even has the big "W" that the characters are looking for next to the big "T" the Simpsons are looking for. Also, I realized while watching this episode that Sam Neill's voice is as smooth as velvet.

17. "I Love Lisa"-Season 4
Guest Star: Michael Carrington as Rex
Memorable quotes: Ralph: "The doctor said I wouldnt have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger outta there."
Homer: "I've heard 'em all. I like you as a friend... I think we should see other people... I no speak English..." Lisa: "I get the idea." Homer: "I'm married to the sea... I don't want to kill you, but I will."
Homer: "You know, one day honest citizens are going to stand up to you crooked cops." Chief Wiggum: "They are!? Oh no! Ha-have they set a date?"
Message: Be careful who you pity, "Monster Mash" is a song appropriate for any occasion, and this is how I learned that William Henry Harrison was only president for 30 days.
Made me cry: No, I am not Groundskeeper Willie
Notes: I had a really hard time with this one getting down to only three quotes as well. One of my favorites is "So, do you like, stuff?" but I couldn't include it because the nose bleed line is a classic. It's hard to go wrong with Ralph Wiggum, and throw in the added funny lines of Bart and Homer about going to Krusty's show, and this one is a classic.

16. "Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment"-Season 8
Guest Star: Dave Thomas as Rex Banner, Joe Mantegna as Fat Tony
Memorable quotes: Mayor Quimby: "You're just a bunch of low-income nobodies! Who are you to demand anything?" Aide: (Quietly) "Election in November. Election in November." Mayor Quimby: "What? Again? This stupid country."
Marge: "Why do you have so many bowling balls?" Homer: "I'm not gonna lie to you Marge. (pauses) See ya!"
Reporter: "What about the beer baron?" Banner: "I suspect he was just a figment of the media. The idea that someone like that could operate under my very nose is laughable. (tries to laugh, chokes and coughs instead) Well, you all know what laughter sounds like."
Message: Reinforces that prohibition only works in the movies, wait, never mind.
Made me cry: Maybe only from laughing
Notes: I had a really difficult time narrowning down the quotes for this one too because there are so many great one-liners, and just about everything that Rex Banner said makes me laugh. I've loved Dave Thomas from his "Bob and Doug McKenzie" sketches and from the movie "Strange Brew." I'm part Canadian, so it's a part of my heritage, eh?

I'll be posting numbers 15-11 at around the same Bat-Season on the same Bat-Blog, so stay tuned!