Newspapers

"Sleep Important, Say Experts--Slow News Day Grips Springfield."

This quote actually comes from the Springfield Shopper, the main newspaper that often provides hilariousness...sorry, that's hilarious news, my mistake. This headline is from the episode Half-Decent Proposal where Homer's snoring keeps Marge awake and she becomes sleep deprived. Almost as if on cue (imagine that), this newspaper arrives on the doorstep.

I found this article in real life. Only this one was for a local paper called the Deseret News. The main headline, in bold letters so the whole world could see, and as our old friend Jeff would say "above the fold," was the headline: "Obama Worried About Economy." Really?!? He is? Well then, maybe I should too. You know, with an article this salacious, you would wonder why nobody else picked it up before now. Oh, wait. They did. THREE YEARS AGO.

Talk about a slow news day. When you have to resurrect a story that broke that long ago and has continued to be on the collective minds of the target audience since then, has changed the very makeup of the government, and has been hashed and re-hashed ad naseum for three years, you know you got nothing.

I'm just waiting for the headline after an eclipse: "God Steals Sun-Mayor Offers Sacrifices."