Lists...Everyone Loves Lists...Pt. 5 The List Strikes Back

And now, before the end of 2011, the end of the List.

5. "Mother Simpson"-Season 7
Guest star-Glenn Close as Mother Simpson, Harry Morgan as Bill Gannon
Memorable quotes: Marge: Mother Simpson, we'd like to ask you a few questions about your past. Mother Simpson: Can't reminisce. Sleeping. (starts snoring)
Homer: Damn you, Walt Whitman! I hate you, Walt freakin' Whitman! Leaves of grass, my ass!
Lisa: (turning on the dryer) So no one will be able to hear us... Bart: What!? Lisa: (turning off the dryer) All right, we don't need the dryer! Bart: What!?
Made me cry: Every time
Notes: This episode has a lot of great allusions to previous episodes, lots of heart, and we get to see a very human side to Homer. Love it

4. "Bart vs. Australia"-Season 6
Guest Star-Phil Hartman as Evan Connover
Memorable quotes: Conover: Mr. Simpson, shush! Disparaging the boot is a bootable offense! It's one of their proudest traditions! [He points it out using the Australian Flag, which inaccurately shows a boot kicking the buttocks]
Homer: When will you Australians learn? In America, we stopped using corporal punishment, and things have never been better. The streets are safe. Old people strut confidently in the darkest alleys. And the weak and nerdy are admired for their computer-programming abilities. So, like us, let your children run wild and free! 'Cos as the old saying goes, "let your children run wild and free".
Bart: Mom, Dad, just so you don't hear any wild rumors, I'm being indicted for fraud in Australia. Homer: That's no reason to block the TV.
Bruno: Ooh! Ah, that's it. I'm going to report this to me member of Parliament. [yells out window] Hey, Gus! I got something to report to you. [Gus tends his swine]
Gus: That's a bloody outrage, it is! I want to take this all the way to the Prime Minister. [they go down to a lake] Hey! Mr. Prime Minister! Andy! Andy: [floating naked on an inner tube with a beer] Eh, mates! What's the good word?
Lisa: [weepy] Thank you, Bart. I promise I won't make fun of you later for this.
Homer: [sniffs] Show 'em what American butts are made of, Son.
Made me cry: No
Notes: Too many great quotes to really narrow them down but here are some of my favorites.

3. "Lisa's Substitute"-Season 2
Guest Star-Sam Etic (Dustin Hoffman) as Mr. Bergstrom
Memorable quotes: Miss Hoover: "You see, class, my Lyme Disease turned out to be" (Spells on blackboard) "psychosomatic." Ralph: "Does that mean you're crazy?" Janey: "No, that means she was faking it." Miss Hoover: "No, actually, it was a little of both."
Homer: "Bart, does the class president get paid?" Bart: "No." Homer: "Does he have to do extra work?" Bart: "Yes." Homer: "And is this Martin Prince going to get to do anything neat, like throw out the first ball at the World Series?"
Bart: "Hell no!" Homer: "So let the baby have his bottle! That is what I always tell myself." Bart: "Thanks, Dad."
Made me cry: Yes
Notes: This one has some good quotes, but the reason I like this one is mostly because it is so sweet and we get to see some actual character growth from all the Simpsons.

2. "Homer's Phobia"-Season 8
Guest star-John Waters as John
Memorable quotes-Marge: Homer, didn't John seem a little "festive" to you? Homer: Couldn't agree more, happy as a clam. Marge: He prefers the company of men! Homer: Who doesn't? Marge: Homer, listen carefully. John is a Ho - mo... Homer: Right. Marge: ...Sexual. Homer: AAAAHHH!
Marge: I'm very sorry you feel that way, because John invited us out on a drive today, and we're going. Homer: Whoa! Not me. And not because John's gay, but because he's a sneak. He should have the good taste to mince around and let everyone know that he's... that way. Marge: What on Earth are you talking about? Homer: You know me, Marge. I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals FA-LAMING
Homer: You! I should have known. John: Good morning, sunshine. Marge: Homer, John brought us cactus candy. Homer: Look, John, you seem like a perfectly nice guy and all. Just stay the hell away from my family! John: Well, now you don't get any candy. No that's cruel. Just take a teensy piece.
Homer: Oh my god! What's happening now? Rosco: We work hard, we play hard.
Made me cry: No.
Notes: Once again, too many good quotes to narrow down but certainly one of my most favorite episodes. That's why it's number 2.

1. "Lisa on Ice"-Season 6
Guest star-none
Memorable quotes-Skinner: No, no, Ralph. This means you're failing English. Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible!
Bart: Lisa, certain difference, rivalries if you will, have come up between us. At first I thought we could talk it over like civilized people, but instead...I just ripped the head off Mr. Honeybunny! Lisa: Bart that was your cherished childhood toy. Bart: Aaah! Mr. Honeybunny!
Mrs. Krabappel: Who can tell me the capital of Spain? Bart Simpson. The square root of 36? Bart Simpson. Who freed the slaves? Bart Simpson. Bart Simpson. Bart Simpson. Bart Simpson, will you stop raising your hand? You haven't gotten one right answer all day.
Homer: Hey! Apu just called. This Friday, Lisa's team is playing Bart's team. You're in direct competition. And don't go easy on each other just because you're brother and sister. I want to see you both fighting for your parents' love! (Flicks light on and off.) Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Announcer: And now, to honor America, here's Krusty the Klown. Krusty: [singing] Oh say, can you see..La la la, da da light, what so proudly we... ya la la yah...oh... I shouldn't have turned down those cue cards.
Made me cry: Yes
Notes: I love hockey. I love the Simpsons. I love this episode. Period.

Lists...Everyone Loves Lists...Pt. 4 List Free or Die Hard

Our countdown continues with numbers 10-6

10. "El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer"-Season 8
Guest Star: Johnny Cash as Homer's Spirit Guide
Memorable quotes: Homer: "Maybe we do have a--" Marge: "Profound mystical understanding?" Homer: "We do! Oh, Marge! We're number one! We're number one! In your face, space coyote!" Marge: "Space coyote?"
Homer: "Oh, well, of course, everything looks bad if you remember it."
Homer: "Look, just give me some inner peace, or I'll mop the floor with ya!"
(Homer's silhouette can be seen in the lighthouse's spotlight) Bart: "Hey, look! Is that dad?" Lisa: "Either that or Batman's really let himself go."
Made me cry: No.
Notes: I've already blogged about a quote or two from this episode, so it seems fitting that it cracks my top ten. It starts out pretty normal, then gets really strange once Homer has the Guatemalan insanity peppers, but then levels out to a very sweet ending, including a dance sequence to the song about hot pants. Yeah, it's a strange one, but I like it in a way that even I have trouble understanding.

9. "Brother from the Same Planet"-Season 4
Guest Star: Phil Hartman as Tom
Memorable quotes: Administrator: "And what are your reasons for wanting a little brother?" Homer's Brain: "Don't say revenge! Don't say revenge!" Homer: "Uh, revenge?
Homer's Brain: That's it, I'm gettin' outta here." (The sound of footsteps and a door slam.)
(a homeless man sleeps in a dumpster) Homer: "Hehehe, Just like Oscar the grouch."
Homer: "For your information, I'm his father." Tom: "You mean the drunken gambler?" Homer: "Yes and who might you be?"
Ned: "Hey Homie, I can see your doodle." Homer: "Shut up, Flanders."
Made me cry: No.
Notes: Originally, this episode was supposed to feature Tom Cruise as the voice of Tom the Bigger Brother. However, at the last minute, for reasons that were unclear to the producers, Tom backed out and they had to use Phil Hartman. Now that they say the character was designed for Tom Cruise, I can see it. They created this character that suited his style in the 90s. Now they would probably just create a really short guy that jumps on couches.

8. "Hurricane Neddy"-Season 8
Guest star: Jon Lovitz as Jay Sherman
Memorable quotes: Homer: "I engaged in intercourse with your spouse or significant other. (to Dr. Foster) Now that's psychiatry! Eh? Eh?" Ned: "Ho ho ho, very funny wise guy." Homer: "Oh, that's it; you just can't insult this guy. You call him a moron and he just sits there grinning moronally." Ned: (to Dr. Foster) "Hi, neighbor!"
Ned: (to Lenny) "And as for you, I don't know you, but I'm sure you're a jerk!" Lenny: "Hey, I've only been here a few minutes! What's going on?"
Asylum Receptionist: "Would you like to be shown to your room or dragged away kicking and screaming?" Ned: "Ooh, kicking and screaming, please."
Homer: "Hope you like it, neighbor. We didn't have the best tools or all the know-how, but we did have a wheel-barrel full of love!" Apu: "And a cement-mixer full of hope, and some cement."
Made me cry: No
Notes: This episode is great because we finally see some depth to Flanders' personality. We were introduced to Ned's parents in the episode "The PTA Disbands!" and we discovered that they were a bunch of beatniks. Another one of my favorite lines from this one is when Ned's mom tells Dr. Foster, "You gotta help us, Doc. We've tried nothin', and we're all outta ideas." It's also nice to see Flanders as a real human being, instead of the super-neighbor he had been in most of the previous episodes. This was one of the favorite episodes of another Simpsons fanat that I met while living in Mongolia.

7. "Much Apu About Nothing"-Season 7
Guest star: Joe Mantegna as Fat Tony
Memorable quotes: Bodyguard: "Sir, there's an angry mob here to see you." Mayor Quimby: "Does it have an appointment?" Bodyguard: "Yes, it does." Principal Skinner: "I phoned ahead!"
Crowd: "Down with taxes! Down with taxes!" Mayor Quimby: "Are these morons getting dumber or just louder?" Aide: "Dumber, sir. They won't give up the bear patrol, but they won't pay the tax for it either."
Homer: "Well, there's not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a charm." Lisa: "That's specious reasoning, Dad." Homer: "Thank you, sweetie." Lisa: "Dad, by your reasoning, I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away." Homer: "Uh-huh, and how does it work?" Lisa: "It doesn't work. It's just a stupid rock." Homer: "I see." Lisa: "But you don't see any tigers around, do you?" Homer: "Lisa, I'd like to buy your rock."
Apu: "Oh, no! I fell asleep! I've forgotten everything Mr. Simpson has taught me!" Lisa: "Perfect. Let's go!"
Made me cry: No.
Notes: I love this episode from beginning to end. The bear who has come down from the hills "in search of food or possibly employment," the community's completely absurd reaction, the over-reaction by the government, another absurd reaction by the public leads to a knee-jerk decision to deport illegal immigrants I think about sums up the dynamics of government sometimes. There are small things that happen causing a huge reaction by the government which enrages the public, and so on. It's great, another triumph.

6. "Deep Space Homer"-Season 5
Guest Star: Buzz Aldrin and James Taylor as themselves.
Memorable quotes: Homer: "You're right, Marge. Just like the time I could have met Mr. T at the mall. The entire day I kept saying, 'I'll go a little later. I'll go a little later.' And then when I got there, they told me he'd just left. And when I asked the mall guy if he would ever come back again, (sniffs) he said he didn't know. Well, I'm never going to let something like that happen again! I'm going into space right now!"
Homer: "The only danger is if they send us to that terrible Planet of the Apes. Wait a minute... Statue of Liberty... that was our planet! You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to Hell! (sobs)"
James Taylor: (singing) "Sweet dreams and flying machines, in pieces on the ground. Oops. Uh, sweet dreams and flying machines, flying safely through the air."
NASA Man: "Gentlemen, you've both worked very hard, and in a way you're both winners. But in another, more accurate way, Barney is the winner."
Made me cry: Maybe when Homer is talking about when he could have seen Mr. T at the mall.
Notes: This one is great. I wish there were more than five numbers between one and five because I think this one should have been in it. We see Homer's rage finally come in handy twice, as his angry call to NASA puts him in the running to go to space and his rage at trying to beat up Race Banyon closes the door, allowing them to make it back to earth safely. We also see Homer getting upstaged by an inanimate carbon rod, even when he was a hero. He may have just pulled a "Homer," but he still deserved some credit.

Come back soon for the exciting conclusion!