And now, before the end of 2011, the end of the List.
5. "Mother Simpson"-Season 7
Guest star-Glenn Close as Mother Simpson, Harry Morgan as Bill Gannon
Memorable quotes: Marge: Mother Simpson, we'd like to ask you a few questions about your past. Mother Simpson: Can't reminisce. Sleeping. (starts snoring)
Homer: Damn you, Walt Whitman! I hate you, Walt freakin' Whitman! Leaves of grass, my ass!
Lisa: (turning on the dryer) So no one will be able to hear us... Bart: What!? Lisa: (turning off the dryer) All right, we don't need the dryer! Bart: What!?
Made me cry: Every time
Notes: This episode has a lot of great allusions to previous episodes, lots of heart, and we get to see a very human side to Homer. Love it
4. "Bart vs. Australia"-Season 6
Guest Star-Phil Hartman as Evan Connover
Memorable quotes: Conover: Mr. Simpson, shush! Disparaging the boot is a bootable offense! It's one of their proudest traditions! [He points it out using the Australian Flag, which inaccurately shows a boot kicking the buttocks]
Homer: When will you Australians learn? In America, we stopped using corporal punishment, and things have never been better. The streets are safe. Old people strut confidently in the darkest alleys. And the weak and nerdy are admired for their computer-programming abilities. So, like us, let your children run wild and free! 'Cos as the old saying goes, "let your children run wild and free".
Bart: Mom, Dad, just so you don't hear any wild rumors, I'm being indicted for fraud in Australia. Homer: That's no reason to block the TV.
Bruno: Ooh! Ah, that's it. I'm going to report this to me member of Parliament. [yells out window] Hey, Gus! I got something to report to you. [Gus tends his swine]
Gus: That's a bloody outrage, it is! I want to take this all the way to the Prime Minister. [they go down to a lake] Hey! Mr. Prime Minister! Andy! Andy: [floating naked on an inner tube with a beer] Eh, mates! What's the good word?
Lisa: [weepy] Thank you, Bart. I promise I won't make fun of you later for this.
Homer: [sniffs] Show 'em what American butts are made of, Son.
Made me cry: No
Notes: Too many great quotes to really narrow them down but here are some of my favorites.
3. "Lisa's Substitute"-Season 2
Guest Star-Sam Etic (Dustin Hoffman) as Mr. Bergstrom
Memorable quotes: Miss Hoover: "You see, class, my Lyme Disease turned out to be" (Spells on blackboard) "psychosomatic." Ralph: "Does that mean you're crazy?" Janey: "No, that means she was faking it." Miss Hoover: "No, actually, it was a little of both."
Homer: "Bart, does the class president get paid?" Bart: "No." Homer: "Does he have to do extra work?" Bart: "Yes." Homer: "And is this Martin Prince going to get to do anything neat, like throw out the first ball at the World Series?"
Bart: "Hell no!" Homer: "So let the baby have his bottle! That is what I always tell myself." Bart: "Thanks, Dad."
Made me cry: Yes
Notes: This one has some good quotes, but the reason I like this one is mostly because it is so sweet and we get to see some actual character growth from all the Simpsons.
2. "Homer's Phobia"-Season 8
Guest star-John Waters as John
Memorable quotes-Marge: Homer, didn't John seem a little "festive" to you? Homer: Couldn't agree more, happy as a clam. Marge: He prefers the company of men! Homer: Who doesn't? Marge: Homer, listen carefully. John is a Ho - mo... Homer: Right. Marge: ...Sexual. Homer: AAAAHHH!
Marge: I'm very sorry you feel that way, because John invited us out on a drive today, and we're going. Homer: Whoa! Not me. And not because John's gay, but because he's a sneak. He should have the good taste to mince around and let everyone know that he's... that way. Marge: What on Earth are you talking about? Homer: You know me, Marge. I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals FA-LAMING
Homer: You! I should have known. John: Good morning, sunshine. Marge: Homer, John brought us cactus candy. Homer: Look, John, you seem like a perfectly nice guy and all. Just stay the hell away from my family! John: Well, now you don't get any candy. No that's cruel. Just take a teensy piece.
Homer: Oh my god! What's happening now? Rosco: We work hard, we play hard.
Made me cry: No.
Notes: Once again, too many good quotes to narrow down but certainly one of my most favorite episodes. That's why it's number 2.
1. "Lisa on Ice"-Season 6
Guest star-none
Memorable quotes-Skinner: No, no, Ralph. This means you're failing English. Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible!
Bart: Lisa, certain difference, rivalries if you will, have come up between us. At first I thought we could talk it over like civilized people, but instead...I just ripped the head off Mr. Honeybunny! Lisa: Bart that was your cherished childhood toy. Bart: Aaah! Mr. Honeybunny!
Mrs. Krabappel: Who can tell me the capital of Spain? Bart Simpson. The square root of 36? Bart Simpson. Who freed the slaves? Bart Simpson. Bart Simpson. Bart Simpson. Bart Simpson, will you stop raising your hand? You haven't gotten one right answer all day.
Homer: Hey! Apu just called. This Friday, Lisa's team is playing Bart's team. You're in direct competition. And don't go easy on each other just because you're brother and sister. I want to see you both fighting for your parents' love! (Flicks light on and off.) Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Announcer: And now, to honor America, here's Krusty the Klown. Krusty: [singing] Oh say, can you see..La la la, da da light, what so proudly we... ya la la yah...oh... I shouldn't have turned down those cue cards.
Made me cry: Yes
Notes: I love hockey. I love the Simpsons. I love this episode. Period.
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