Sorry it's been almost a month since my last post and I know all of you were just DYING to read my next five favorite episodes, so I'm sorry but this last month has been a very busy one for me as I was writing my capstone paper in an effort to graduate. So I think you'll forgive me. And now, without further "Apu"...
15. "Homer the Great"-Season 6
Guest Star: Patrick Stewart as Number 1
Memorable Quotes: Homer: "Ohh, why won't those stupid idiots let me in their crappy club for jerks?"
Bart: "What do they do there?" Homer: "What don't they do? They do so many things, they never stop. Oh, the things they do there, my stars!" Lisa: "You don't know what they do, do you, Dad?" Homer: "Not as such, no."
Marge: "I don't want you stalking anyone tonight." Homer: "Oh, okay, have it your own way, Marge. I'll be back in a minute. I'm... going outside to... stalk Lenny and Carl. D'oh!"
Homer: "I always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is. And it's me." Marge: "You're not a god, Homer." Lisa: "Remember Dad, all glory is fleeting." Homer: "So?" Lisa: "Beware the Ides of March." Homer: "No." Lisa: "Dad I know you think you're happy now, but it's not gonna last forever!" Homer: "Everything lasts forever." Lisa: "Don't you see, getting what you want all the time will ultimately leave you unfulfilled and joyless." Homer: "Remove the girl!" Lisa: "Dad you're not with your Stonecutters now. There are no lackies to carry out your every--" (Bart appears, puts his hand over her mouth, salutes Homer, and then drags her away)
Made me cry: No
Notes: Love the song "We Do," because it since the club is supposed to be a parody of the Freemasons, this song illustrates inexplicable things in our society that happen that some people attribute to some crazy conspiracy theory like the Freemasons making it happen. You know, crazy things like keeping the Martians under wraps and making Steve Guttenberg a star, stuff like that. I think my favorite line from this one is when Homer says, "I always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is. And it's me." Such a classic Homer line because it's so disjointed from reality and narcissistic, but eventually Homer comes back down to Earth. And let's face it, we all know someone who wouldn't surprise us if he said he thought he was God.
14. "Lemon of Troy"-Season 6
Guest star: None
Memorable quotes: Bart: "That lemon tree is a part of our town. And as kids, the backbone of our economy. We'll get it back, or choke their rivers with our dead!"
Marge: "Where are you going, Bart?" Bart: "Mom, you won't believe this, but something you said the other day really got through to me. And now, I'm going to teach some kid a lesson." (Bart leaves the house) Marge: "I choose to take that literally." Bart: (yelling from outside) "Death to Shelbyville!" Homer: (raising his beer) "Yes, Bart's a tutor now. Tute on, son. Tute on!"
Bart: "Ok, here's the plan: Nelson's tough guy, Martin's smart guy, and Todd is the quiet religious guy that ends up going crazy."
Bart: "Keep your voices down, men. We didn't come all this way to get found out." Homer: "Found 'em! You kids are in big trouble! Running away from home like this." Bart: "But they stole our lemon tree!" Homer: "I don't care what excuse you've got. Nothing's gonna stop me in the middle of this speech. You're gonna-- Lemon tree!?"
Made me cry: No
Notes: I love the references to the Trojan War in this episode, from the title to Homer commenting as they leave the motorhome they used to sneak into the impound lot saying, "No one in history has EVER done anything this clever." It's also interesting to see Bart be a part of something constructive, even if that something constructive takes place at the detriment of others. The parallels to Springfield that lie in Shelbyville are also great, like a Speed-E-Mart, Joe's, and the female Groundskeeper Willie.
13. "Brother from Another Series"-Season 8
Guest Star: Kelsey Grammar as Sideshow Bob, David Hyde Pierce as Cecil Terwilliger
Memorable quotes: Marge: "Oh, you have nothing to worry about, honey." Homer: "Your mother's right, Bart. Sure, you're the one who ruined all of Sideshow Bob's criminal schemes--" Marge: "We're very proud of you, by the way." Homer: "--and sure, he's probably so insane with rage that he'd butcher you horribly if he could." Marge: "But, he's safely locked away." Homer: "In a medium-security prison." Marge: "For life!" Homer: "Unless he gets out somehow." Marge: "Which is impossible." Homer: "Or so you'd think! Except he's done it so many times before."
Sideshow Bob: "I'm telling you Cecil, I can't take much more of this! Rustic workmen who've turned the saniJohn into a smokehouse! Coveralls that don't quite cover all! And a psychotic little boy who won't stop hounding me!"
Sideshow Bob: "Oh, come now! You wanted to be Krusty's sidekick since you were five! What about the buffoon lessons? The four years at Clown College?" Cecil: "I'll thank you not to refer to Princeton that way."
Lisa: "But everyone will know you did this!" Cecil: "Perhaps. Or perhaps they'll blame the master criminal, you know, the one with the grudge against Springfield?" Sideshow Bob: "Now I know Cousin Merle has had his troubles with the law, but he's hardly a master crim--Oh. You were referring to me." Cecil: "Yes, I'm framing you. And I'm doing a really excellent job at it."..."By the way, I'm planning to blow up the dam with you inside." Sideshow Bob: "Well, obviously."
Made me cry: No
Notes: Any "Top __" list of the Simpsons that omits an episode with Sideshow Bob is lying to you and itself. It's hard to ignore the great episodes and lines that accompany Kelsey Grammar's character, and his voice is divine. I had a hard time deciding between this episode and "Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming," which is another great one, but I decided on this one because of the Frasier references, and because in this episode, Bob is shown to have reformed but because of the system, is not trusted to have reformed. I used to watch Frasier as a kid and didn't understand a lot of it when they talked really fast about wines and such, so this episode seems a little like an inside joke between me and the show.
12. "Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily"-Season 7
Guest Star: None
Memorable quotes: Reverend Lovejoy: "Ned, have you thought about one of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same."
Homer: "What advantages does this motor car have over say, a train, which I could also afford." Car Salesman: "Well, you'll notice how the heated gas pedal warms your feet, and the- (Homer drives off, comes back) -massages your buttocks. Well Count Homer, shall we discuss the-" Homer: "No we shant. Yoink!" (grabs tickets from man's pocket and runs)
Marge: "It's so quiet here without the kids." Homer: "What I wouldn't give to here Lisa play another one of her jazzy tunes. (speaks into saxophone) Saxa-ma-phone, saxa-ma-phone."
Cletus: "Pa, I done cut myself on the screen door again." Homer: "Why you cotton-pickin'! (Chokes Cletus) No, I gotta pass this class for my kids. Son, let's stop all the fussin' and feudin'." Cletus: "I love you, Pa!" Homer: "I love you, Cletus!"
Made me cry: Yes, and still does
Notes: This episode gives us a look into the dynamics that are in the Flanders' home and let's us see what happens to Homer and Marge without the kids. Homer often wonders what it would be like without children, forgets how many he has, or is one of the worst fathers ever, but this episode shows just how far Homer is willing to go to save his family. And yes, this episode makes me cry for realsies. I am bothered that Flanders goes to baptize the Simpsons so quickly, because I have known people that adopt or foster children and changing their religion or anything like that is a very long, drawn out process, so I'm a little bothered with how cavalier Flanders is, but then I remind myself it's just a show, I should really just relax.
11. "You Only Move Twice"-Season 8
Guest star: Albert Brooks as Hank Scorpio
Memorable quotes: Scorpio: "There's the Hammock Hut. That's on Third. There's Hammocks 'R' Us. That's on Third, too. You got Put Your Butt There. That's on Third. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. Matter of fact they're all in the same complex. It's the Hammock Complex, down on Third." Homer: "Oh, the Hammock District?"
P.A.: T minus 14 seconds. Scorpio: "If you need anything, you call me." Homer: "All right. What's the number?" Hank: "I've never had to call my own company. Someone will tell you upstairs. But, Homer, on your way out, if you wanna kill somebody, it would help a lot."
Marge: "Mr. Scorpio, this house is almost too good for us. I keep expecting to get the bum's rush." Scorpio: "We don't have bums in our town, Marge, and if we did they wouldn't rush. They'd be allowed to go at their own pace."
Homer: "I can't buy that. Only management guys with big salaries like me can afford that--guys like me! I'm a guy like me!"
Made me cry: No
Notes: This episode shows what would happen to the Simpsons far from the backdrop of their familiar surroundings and supporting cast. I love the Character that Homer winds up working for: A Bond-villain with big plans, who treats his employees with respect. Finally, when Homer is good at his job and gets respect from his employer, it turns out his family wants to return home and he works for a supervillain. I always love when Albert Brooks is on the show, but Hank Scorpio may be my favorite character of his. Bart being in the remedial class with the Canadian is one of the most quoted things in my family, and seeing the dynamic of Bart in a school that actually cares about its students is great.
Coming Soon: Epic parts four and five of the epic Top 27 list coming up epically...like a certain movie franchise I know.
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